ADHD and Perimenopause and Menopause
Recently, my son walked into the kitchen while I was cooking and started laughing at me. I asked what was so funny and he said, “You're a walking ad for ADHD and perimenopause.”
And he was right. Lol. Picture this…
When he walked in…
The food that I cut my finger preparing was simmering on the stove.
I was singing out loud to a 90's rap song while holding my liquid multi-vitamin at arms length and squinting to read the ingredients.
My thinning hair was thrown up in the messiest of messy buns.
I was wearing a neck fan around my neck because I get so hot when cooking (if you don't have a neck fan yet, run don't walk to amazon and buy one).
I was also sporting big headphones because I have to listen to a podcast while I cook or I get too bored.
I was fashionably attired in a comfy t-shirt and pajama pants (that did not match) because I was bloated and crampy from my period starting before it was supposed to.
To complete the ensemble, I had my Ugg slippers on because though I get hot cooking, my feet were cold.
And what my son couldn't see was that I was also wearing a small estrogen patch on my lower back and my legs weren't shaved because I'm too fatigued to be bothered with such things.
I was indeed a walking ad for ADHD and perimenopause.
Perimenopause and menopause can throw any woman for a loop but add to that worsening and/or changing ADHD symptoms and you've got quite the adventure on your hands.
Perimenopause and menopause can worsen ADHD symptoms due to falling estrogen levels and estrogen plays a major role in the brain chemicals connected to attention, motivation, memory, and emotional regulation — especially dopamine.
Because of this, many women reach a point where the systems, routines, and coping strategies that used to work suddenly stop working.
And the brain fog, changes in your physical body and appearance, fatigue, emotional dysregulation, overwhelm, and more, can be extremely defeating.
The narrative in your mind can become quite disempowering which only adds to the struggle.
But it's important that you know that you're not failing, lazy, or broken and it doesn't mean that you have to be resigned to an unhappy, unfulfilling life.
So what can help?
Every time you notice your brain offering you a critical or disempowering thought, say to yourself, “Let's try that again but kinder.”
For example, instead of, “You didn't do enough today,” try, “My only job is to have a human experience and I did that.” Then name one small moment of joy you experienced during the day.
Become a social scientist observing your own life. Instead of listing what's too hard or not working, tap into curiosity. Why isn't this working? How can I approach this differently? How can I make this easier, less complex, or fun?
Simplify and eliminate the unnecessary. This isn't the time to try to please everyone and do it all. Say no and focus instead on doing less with more intention.
Add whimsy and fun to your day in simple ways. Try a new fun drink, pick some flowers, listen to songs that are nostalgic for you, eat a treat from your childhood.
Access your inner diva and take extra good care of yourself. Slap on a face mask, turn on the aroma therapy and a guided meditation and then drink a smoothie while watching Netflix and painting your toe nails.
I believe this season of life isn't meant to make everything worse, it's meant to be a message saying, "Slow down, loosen your grip on life, take care of yourself, stop taking crap from others, stop being a door mat, stop apologizing for existing, enjoy the little things, and let go of the things you can't control.
This season of life will force you to do these things anyway so you can resist or embrace it.
And remember, your worth isn't based on what you can accomplish in a day, how you look, or any earthly prestige. The truth is, it never has been. Your worth is an unchangeable amount.
If you'd like my help navigating life as a woman with ADHD and all that that entails, book a FREE, 30 min., ADHD Relief session with me HERE. We'll go over what you've been struggling with, isolate what to focus on now, and you'll leave with three simple, effective, steps that you can implement now to improve your life.
Can't wait to see you!
Xo, Jody