Reduce Emotional Pain and Calm Your Brain in Seconds

Two nights ago I was laying in bed going over and over a scenario in my mind (Can you relate?). My brain just wouldn't let it go and I was too emotional to sleep.

But then I remembered a study I recently read about and I put its findings to the test with surprisingly effective results. 

I stopped thinking thoughts and named my emotions.

“Frustrated, sad, defeated, confused, misunderstood…”

I noticed I was instantly calmer so I continued naming my feelings.

“Unseen, powerless…”

Every time I accurately named what I was feeling, my brain calmed more. 

It's as if my brain sighed and said, “You do see me. You do understand me. Now my mission is done.”

And there really is science behind this. A UCLA neuroscientist, Matthew Lieberman, spent decades studying one question, “What happens to the brain when a person puts a feeling into words?”

He hooked people up to brain scanners and measured their amygdala response (the brain's emotional alarm system) when shown images designed to produce emotional responses like fear, sadness, anger, grief, etc.

Then he asked one group of people to do something the other group did not. He asked them to name what they were feeling. 

The group that named their feelings showed measurably reduced amygdala activity in seconds.

Not after processing or therapy, but after two words. Any two, one word feelings.

Scared, alone, ashamed…

He found that naming a feeling reduces emotional pain with the same effectiveness as a common painkiller does for physical pain. 

You may be skeptical about this and think to yourself, “Yeah, but I always talk about my feelings and name what I'm feeling.”

But often we're saying thoughts, not naming feelings.

For example, often when I start working with a new client, I'll ask what they're feeling and they will respond with something like…

“I feel like I can't breathe."

“I feel like he doesn't understand me.”

“I feel like I never know what to do."

“I feel like I can't handle it any more.”

But these are thoughts. They're sentences that go through your mind, descriptions of feelings But the actual feelings are…

 Suffocated

Misunderstood

Confused

Overwhelmed

When you think a thought (sentence in your mind) your brain goes to work trying to find evidence to support it or to come up with solutions. 

But when you name an emotion accurately, your brain stops seeking and spinning. It calms. 

Don't take my word for it, try it. And here's a free gift that might help.

Years ago I created a list of hundreds of feeling names (it also includes thoughts to think on purpose in order to manage your mind). You can access it HERE. 

If you're a women with ADHD who's given up on anything working for you, I have an 8 week, 1:1 program, to take help you take control of your life with ADHD (in ways that actually freaking work for your brain and body). Book a free consult call with me HERE. We'll have a good chat.

Can't wait to see you!

Xo, Jody